Inuyasha's Letter
by Firestorm Rising
Summary: Inuyasha writes a letter to the rest of the group, but the contents of the letter are not what the rest of the group expected. Warning: contains a lot of Kagome bashing.


_Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing. Enough said._

___To Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kaede, and Kagome:_

This is a letter from me, Inuyasha. As you know we have been traveling together for three years now. We have fought and slain many youkai together. We were united in one common goal to destroy are nemesis, Naraku. And in these 3 years together, not a damn thing has changed. When we first started off together, I didn't trust you guys that much and I presume the feeling was mutual. But as time went along, I began to actually think that you guys were my friends. But I overlooked one small aspect. Hanyous don't deserve happiness or friendship. It took me awhile to realize it, but now I know the truth behind the mask. You guys don't trust me. You guys don't care about me. You guys have never cared about me. I knew that it would take awhile for trust to develop, but I didn't think it would take 3 years. After all, if you guys really did trust me, or regarded me in higher terms, I still wouldn't be wearing this fucking rosary now would I? Before I get to the rosary, let me get to some other facts that have been bothering me. Let's start with the situation regarding Kikyo.

As you all know, I'm a hanyou. As a child, I was an outcast. I was scorned and beaten by humans everywhere I went, and hunted down by youkai almost every damn day. I had no friends, no family, no one to talk to accept myself. After years of this, I finally met Kikyo. She was my first friend since my mom died. She was my only friend. She was also my first love. Even though she wanted me to become human, I still trusted her. It felt good knowing that someone actually cared about you. Then it was all taken away by Naraku. Because he tricked me and Kikyo into thinking that we betrayed each other. Because of this, I was sealed to the Sacred Tree. Everyone says that I was sealed for fifty years, but to me it seemed like a matter of days had passed. I'm going to skip the whole thing with Kagome unsealing me and all that other bullshit. Let me get to my point. You guys accuse me of being a two-timer and a baka for going to go see Kikyo. But how in the hell can I be a two-timer when Kagome and I aren't even together? You guys always scorn me by telling me that by me seeing Kikyo that I have no respect for Kagome's feeling, and that I should just get over Kikyo. But have you guys ever once considered what I may be feeling? Of course not, I'm just a hanyou. You guys expect me to choose between them. That is really fucking cruel. I'm basically supposed to just completely forget about Kikyo because it hurts Kagome's feelings? Sorry, but it aint that fucking easy. Kagome, here's a question for you. How would you like it if I asked you to completely forget about your family so that you can stay here in the Feudal Era because it hurts me? Fucked up choice isn't it? Sango, how would you feel if I asked you to completely forget about Kohaku and go on and live out the rest of your life? Pretty hard, huh? That is basically what you guys are doing to me. You guys are asking me to give up the first friend I had since my mother died. Like I said before, that's fucking cruel to do that to me. But it doesn't matter, because I'm just a hanyou right? By the way, Sango and Miroku, you two are the most hypocritical bastards I've seen walk this earth. You guys accuse me of not moving on because of a duty I must fulfill. Then what the hell are you guys doing then? You guys won't get married because you both have duties to fulfill. That makes me and you the same. I'm done with the Kikyo part. Lets talk about the rosary .This applies mostly to Kagome.

I don't even know where to begin! Its been three years and I'm still wearing this fucking rosary. Why? Is it a lack of trust? Do you think that I'm going to harm you if you remove it? Don't answer that, I know why. You revel in the power in the rosary. You like the idea of having your own obedient little puppy slave right? You have no idea how much pain this thing has caused me and I'm not just talking about physical pain either. I own three things in this world. My clothes, my Tetsusaiga, and my pride. Well because of you, I now only own two things, because you have stolen my pride. How many times have you dishonored me by using the rosary in public places? Too many times to count. You completely overuse the rosary. Whenever I say something that you don't like, you 'sit' me. Every time I do something that seems inappropriate in your eyes, you 'sit' me. Whenever I make you angry, you use the rosary as a method of releasing frustration. Not only is it painful, it's humiliating. Being a hanyou already places me at the bottom of the social ladder. You constant 'sit' commands remind me of that. The worst is when you sit me in front of Koga. That is the most humiliating and demoralizing thing anyone could do. You know what he told me one time? He told me that being 'sat' by a ningen female is befitting of my lowly status. As much as I hate to admit it, he was right. It's fucking pathetic. But you don't care right? You say you like me as who I am. That is the biggest fucking lie ever told. If you really accept me for who I am, then why must you constantly castigate me? You 'sit' me for being me. I am what you say, a rude, egotistical, arrogant, self-centered, stupid hanyou. I don't deny it. That's who I am. And apparently you can't accept it.

In the beginning, I needed the rosary. I admit, I was pretty fucking wild and crazy, and I hated your guts. But as time passed by, that hate slowly turned into care, and even love. I know you noticed it to, but you still insist on keeping me leashed. I'm not some child you can punish for wrongdoings. You say you love me, but yet you keep the rosary on me. You punish me all the time, and I think that it is a common concept that you don't punish the one's you love. What's next, are you going to start feeding me your table scraps or some shit like that? Should we go play fetch in an open meadow? Should I roll over and do tricks for you? Should I be a good dog and come to you whenever you whistle? It's apparent that you have no respect for my dignity, for me. I mean do you actually believe that the rosary could stop me if even I wanted to harm you? I could easily sneak up behind you and kill you before you'd even have time to realize what's happening. But I care for you, so that thought never crossed my path. It pisses me off even more when you say that you use the rosary in effort to keep me from running off alone somewhere. That's the worst excuse I've ever heard for two reasons: First, what to stop me from running off alone when you're not paying attention. I could easily sneak off in the middle of the night. And second ,it's cruel. How dare you try to keep me contained like some caged animal? If I want to run off alone, then I sure as hell will do just that. You have no right to stop me from doing the things I've been doing since before you were born. I partially blame myself for allowing myself to be suckered in by you. By the way, you're not as sweet and innocent as everyone thinks you are. You're pretty sneaky for a human girl. Every time we get into a fight, I always come out the bad guy. Every time something happens between me and you that isn't pleasant, I'm the one everyone blames. Why is that? Because you make it appear so. I admit that I instigate most of the fights, but sometimes you completely overreact, 'sit' me until my back breaks, and then tell everyone in an indirect way that I'm the bad guy. Then what does everyone do, they jump all over my case. Telling me that I'm such a jerk, and I need to be considerate of your feelings and blah, blah, blah. That by the way really pisses me off. Then after everyone has said there fill of accusations, then I have to go and apologize. And deep down somewhere in that dark heart of yours, you like it. That way, while I take all the blame, your ego is steadily rising. Why is it that every time something goes wrong in our relationship, I have to be the one to fix it? I never been good at diplomacy, yet I still have to be the repairer. I noticed it after awhile. This leads to my next point. This regards everyone.

How come no on has ever taken my side when me and Kagome fight? How come even though, when her method of 'punishment' is unjust, no one ever comes to my defense? I'll tell you why, because I'm a hanyou. I guess you guys find it so much easier to blame and scorn someone lowly as me. No matter what happens, it's my fault. It's been that way my whole life. It's my fault my father died, it's my fault my mother died, it's my fault that Sesshomaru hates me so much, it's my fault that everyone is so **FUCKING MISERABLE! **It's always been my fault and it will always be my fault. No matter what! I guess that I should just accept that fact. This leads me to my final conclusion. I'm better off without you guys, and vice versa. I refuse to try to work my ass off anymore to prove that I can be trusted, that I'm not the dirty, evil half-breed everyone thinks I am. I thought that I actually had friends. I thought I had found love. But I forgot again: hanyous don't deserve happiness. But I will tell you guys this. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than to continually be dishonored and regarded as a pet puppy who needs to be controlled and tamed. I have to muster up whatever dignity I have left, and do the right thing. Maybe one day we'll cross paths, even though I hope we don't. By the time you finish this letter I will be long gone. Hope you guys have a wonderful fucking life.

___Disdainfully,_

___Inuyasha_

___(By the way, this doesn't apply to Kilala. She's the only one I like.)_


End file.
